Monday, October 14, 2013

A Poor Man's Guide to Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

Preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse on the Cheap!

When funds are tight, it can be a challenge to prepare for any disaster much less a Zombie Apocalypse.  But, when there's a will, there's a way. It's always tough to prepare for an emergency when your personal finances are tight. But, the Zombies don't care if you are chronically under-employed. They don't care if you are recovering from a layoff or whether you are trying to rebuild your 401K. All zombies want is to eat your warm juicy guts and protein-filled brain! Disasters just don't wait for your family to be in tip-top financial shape.

By Yves Tennevin (Own work) [GFDL ( or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

Fortunately, there are ways to prepare for a Zombie apocalypse on a low budget. Here are some inexpensive Zombie Apocalypse preps:

Baseball Bat. The good old fashioned aluminum baseball bat lasts forever. It will still be good for bashing zombies long after the last ting of a softball home run. I've got two aluminum bats at my house for Zombies or other home defense situations. They are cosmetically challenge, but cost less than $4 each at the Atlanta Union Mission thrift store. You can easily clean them up and replace the grip tape!

Survival Knife. If you have to dispatch zombies, you might want a knife-a really big knife. Fortunately, Harbor Freight Tools sells their hefty Gordon 8-inch survival knife for about $8 on sale. The hollow handle is packed with matches, fishing line, hooks, and even a sewing kit. You never know when such things will come in handy. Zombies tend to wear very tattered clothing. This knife looks similar -

Firearms. Many people want a firearm, but are put off by high prices. If you want a firearm for home defense, you can start with a brand new Hi-Point .380 or 9mm semi-automatic pistol for less than $170. If you buy used, prices can be much less. Hi-Point firearms have an unconditional lifetime warranty. If you encounter malfunctions at the range, you can ship it to them for a free repair. They may not be beautiful, but Hi-Points are reputed to go bang regularly. You can also buy a variety of used single-shot shotguns for less than $120.

First Aid Supplies. One good Zombie bite can condemn you to the realm of the walking dead. But, in any apocalypse, you are going to accumulate plenty of scratches, scrapes, and cuts. No matter how the world ends, you are going to want a first aid kit. Fortunately, First Aid kits are inexpensive. The basic 70 piece Johnson & Johnson Safe Travels First Aid kit sells for around $8.00 at your local drugstore. You can also pick up basic first aid supplies at stores like Dollar Tree. Just throw a few basic first aid supplies in your basket on every visit and your home hospital will be off to a good start. They have bandaids, bandages for sprains, aspirin, disinfectant and more for a dollar a package.

Water and Food. In any survival scenario, you'll want to have a stockpile of clean drinking water and food. When Zombies are roaming the neighborhood, you'll probably want to eat at home rather than going to your local greasy spoon. You can buy eight packs of bottled spring water at the Dollar Tree or cases of bottled water at your local grocery store. Canned goods are also inexpensive source of emergency food and last a long time. Just remember to pick up extra can openers at the dollar store.

While the return of the hit AMC series, The Walking Dead, to your television screen may capture your imagination and turn your thoughts to zombies, a little time spent preparing for the imaginary zombie threat can actually help you prepare for other more likely emergencies and natural disasters.

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