Monday, May 9, 2016

Who would survive a Zombie Apocalypse: Kelly Ripa or Michael Strahan?

After Michael Strahan's unexpected announcement that he was leaving "Live with Kelly and Michael," it seems like everywhere you turn, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan are supposedly locked in some die-hard battle. 

The Last Days of Live with Kelly and Michael

Since Friday, May 13th, is Michael Strahan's last day on the popular morning show, it's only natural to ask the vital question now:  Which one of these popular TV morning show personalities would fare better in a Zombie Apocalypse?

Kelly Ripa photo By The Heart Truth [CC BY-SA 2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

Kelly Ripa versus Zombies

Kelly Ripa would have a few advantages over Michael.  At 5' 3" tall and tiny, Ripa is physically fit due to a consistent workout regime and what a People magazine article calls a low alkaline diet.  She eats less and would consume far fewer resources than the giant Strahan.  A light weight, she could scale fences, be boosted into ceiling rafters, and use her yoga skills to squeeze into impossibly tight spots.  This workout segment from "Live with Kelly and Michael!" highlights her physique.

While Ripa has never worked with Zombies, she has worked with Regis Philbin.

Michael Strahan versus Zombies

In contrast to the tiny Ripa, Michael Strahan is and was a Giant.  As a Superbowl Champion and former NFL Defensive End, Strahan stands 6'5" tall and weighs 275 pounds.  As a defensive end, Strahan is used to manhandling big guys, pushing people, and making them lose their balance.  Against clumsy zombies, the former pass rusher would be a machine.  He has a combination of extreme strength and agility.  In the photo below, Strahan demonstrates that he can easily lift an M107 .50 caliber sniper rifle.

Michael Strahan photo By U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Felicia Juenke [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Strahan also keeps himself in good physical condition as this workout video shows. 

Which TV Personality Would Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Ultimately, it's a tough choice.  Kelly Ripa would be fighting for a family that includes husband Mark Consuelos and three kids.  But, she has stamina, agility, and the ability to elude zombies.  Strahan would undoubtedly be a better fighter.  But, this ability might be his undoing.  Strahan would likely be in closer combat with Zombies and thereby might get infected in combat.  Ultimately, Kelly runs away to fight another day and Michael would be knee deep in Zombies.  Strahan is more likely to become infected.  The winner is Kelly Ripa.

Kelly Ripa is simply more likely to elude Zombies, avoid combat, and survive.

No comments:

Post a Comment